so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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