I seem to have left my pride at pride
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize