I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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