Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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