I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize