I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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