so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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