Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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