8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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