do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, be my cock's hype man.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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