my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
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just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
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I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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