I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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