the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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