Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
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