Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
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HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
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hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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