My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize