Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
He better not be in your backpack
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
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