Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize