Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
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