I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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