i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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