i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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