He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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