What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
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