he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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