she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize