I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
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How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
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This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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