the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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