If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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