he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
zippers are such a cool invention
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize