TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
false alarm, still single
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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