Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
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