I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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