When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
where are you?
Hypothermia
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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