I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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