Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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