Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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