I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
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Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
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WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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