Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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