Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize