He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize