Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
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I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
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I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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