Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
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I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
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See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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