I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
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it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
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Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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