it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Randomize