He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
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