mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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