she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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