Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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