sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize